


I'll leave you a note

by Frog_heart_00



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fic based on Patrick Watson Song, First-year college student Rey, One Shot, Pining, Poe is TA, Reylo - Freeform, Roommates, STuffy college professor Ben, Some Domestic Reylo, Trigger Warning; implied emotional cheating, a bit of angst, a bit of smut, finnrey at the beginning but HEA, had to make it kinky, if that isn't for you do read something else, secret pining, sexy make-out, some make out in a classroom, they were roomates, they were to be two passing ships, they weren't, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:13:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25249708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frog_heart_00/pseuds/Frog_heart_00
Summary: Rey was a first year college student on a scholarship, looking for a place to stay near the university. Ben was a stuffy grumpy college professor who had a room to let in his apartment.Then Poe Dameron the TA meddles and Ben and Rey become roommates.They were meant to be two passing ships...Until they weren't.A short Reylo Roommate AUNOW COMPLETE!
Relationships: Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Leia Organa/Han Solo, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 22
Kudos: 61





	1. Two Passing Ships

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome fellow readers!
> 
> This fic is entirely inspired by a Patrick Watson song, in french, that is called "Je te laisserai des mots" which in english means "I'll leave you a note". I have been listening to that song for a while now and it just oozes pining and unrequited love so there you have it! It inspired me to write a short two chapter reylo roommate AU. I seem to be having a thing for Professor Ben but (sigh) what can i say? I don't think anyone would mind having him as their teacher, bahahahah!!! T
> 
> The Chapters will switch POVS. 
> 
> A TRIGGER WARNING needs to be addressed: there might be some emotional cheating so if that impacts you, please read something else, there's so much to pick from! 
> 
> I've been dealing with a lot of crap these last weeks so my writing hasn't been up par... Being able to publish this has made me very proud! 
> 
> Thanks to my faithful aussie Beta [Cecilia1204](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecilia1204/pseuds/Cecilia1204) for looking after this fic! 
> 
> A link to the song, which i definitely recommend my readers to listen to: Spotify or [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chWW-sdnSDM). The artist has very good songs that have been used in several tv shows.

**Chapter 1**

Rey Niima was humming the song currently playing on her playlist as she carefully wrapped each of her dinner plates with old newspaper. Having some space left in the cardboard box, Rey grabbed the coffee mugs from the cupboard and smiled when she noticed the one blue cup that had a chip on the side. She remembered how Ben had burnt his lip and dropped the mug, the boiling milk spilling all over the bedsheets as it fell to the floor when Rey had attempted to help him with his cold last year. Her precious, second-hand coffee mug had gotten chipped but poor Ben, who already suffered enough with his fever, had to endure a swollen, burnt lip for several days. 

Rey had not been allowed to warm anything for him in the microwave after that incident.

Chuckling to herself, Rey wondered if Ben wanted this specific mug as he'd been prone to using it after the incident but he had been adamant that she take everything that belonged to her to her new apartment. Shrugging, Rey grabbed the mug and wrapped it in bubble wrap instead of newspaper (yeah, she was getting nostalgic already) before finding a place for it in the cardboard box.

Once full, she sealed the box thoroughly with tape and placed it on top of the other ones sitting near the front door. After writing ' _plates, cups'_ on the box, Rey re-capped the sharpie and looked at the other boxes, realizing how _real_ everything was becoming. 

She would be lying if she said she wasn’t getting nervous about moving, about this being the end of an era (if two years could count as an era) and, as much as she was excited to finally move into her own place, with her boyfriend, Rey couldn’t deny how a part of her was going to miss this apartment and her roommate, Ben Solo.

If anyone would have told her two years ago that she would have developed a close bond with a stuck-up, snooty, anti-social, temperamental, much-older-than-her English Professor, she would have heartily asked what type of narcotics they had consumed (and where could she get some).

It wasn’t meant to happen.

They were meant to barely see one another. "Two passing ships _,"_ Poe Dameron had told her when he had come up with the suggestion.

Rey Niima had arrived at Coruscant University as a first year student with a scholarship in engineering, knowing absolutely no one at the campus. She was living with her foster mother, Maz Kanata, at the time but her apartment was ninety minutes by bus and subway. She had done everything she could to get a room in the school dorms, to no avail. Still, she remained positive that somehow things would work out. She’d even gotten a job at one of the coffee shops in the university campus but Rey was aware that her commute would affect her studies at one point. 

Luckily, Poe Dameron, who was a TA and who also looked out for the first-ears, came to her rescue. He apparently knew someone who knew someone who was moving away because of a break-up, or something like that, the fact remaining that a college professor had an available room not too far from the school and was looking for a roommate.

Enter Benjamin Solo, English Literature professor.

Poe knew him though Rey never figured out _how_ they knew each other, other than Poe usually annoying Ben whenever they were in the same room, like a cub pestering a surly old lion.

Ben had been, well, just as Rey had often imagined a professor to be like. Quiet, grumpy, distant, stuffy. He was older than she was, nearing his thirties or so, as Rey learned when she managed to peak at his driver’s license when it lay on the kitchen counter once. 

He was… pleasant to the eyes. There was no denying that. 

The glasses, woolly sweaters and loafers helped maintain his grumpy, stuffy image but she couldn’t say the same whenever he went for a jog, his loose shorts and tank top displaying his Adonis body.

After a short interview in his office, where Ben stared at her as she nervously babbled about how she was a quiet person and that she promised she wouldn’t throw parties because she was on a scholarship and no way did she want to screw that up, Ben decided to give her a try.

She moved in the following day, a suitcase on each arm, the only possessions she had.

The apartment was more than she could ever have expected. Ben had warned her he wasn’t much of a homey type of person. There was a sofa, a couch, a tv, a library filled with books (of course) but no pictures on the wall, no plants or knick-knacks. Nothing that revealed anything about Ben.

The beginning of their cohabitation was awkward, to say the least. They were, more or less, two passing ships, Rey spending her days at school and her evenings either at the coffee shop or the library. Ben usually left a little earlier than Rey and hit the gym or went for a run. The few times they did run into one another was either late at night when Rey returned home or on the weekends, on the off chance they did not have much to do other than studying or grading papers. If they were home at the same time, Ben would often hide in his bedroom, even having his dinner there.

Seeing as conversation was kept to a minimum, Rey expected for things to remain polite between them. She made sure to clean up her messes, not accidentally leaving underwear or other intimates visible.

Ben was the definition of a bookworm; he always had some book in his hand. If Rey caught him drinking tea outside on the small patio, walking around campus or the rare times he ate in the living room, he was always reading something, even in foreign languages.

Even though she felt slightly nervous whenever in his presence, he was a snooty professor after all, things began to get better as the months passed by.

At first it started with a simple ' _hi_ ' and ' _how are you doing?_ ' or ' _what are you reading? '_. Then there was a cup of warm coffee or tea waiting in the morning, prepared just the way the other liked it best. Ben liked a twist of lemon in his tea (he would often run late in the mornings, leaving his plate on the counter instead of putting it in the dishwasher, leaving that job to Rey who would usually have to discard the lemon wedge) and Rey had lots of sugar in her coffee (usually leaving the bowl of sugar next to Ben’s Nespresso machine).

Despite still remaining for the most part two passing ships, in between Ben’s busy schedule at the university and Rey’s side-job at the coffee shop and school work load, slowly but surely, they began to talk and somehow, they managed to get along.

Ben, once Rey had gotten to know him a little, wasn’t so much of a stuck-up snob as others had said. He was just not that social and somewhat shy. He didn’t smile much but when he did, boy, did her stomach flip! He was very opinionated but not so much of a snob. 

Being fond of movies, especially action movies, Rey introduced Ben to several franchises, from 'Back to the Future' to the 'Alien' movies. Ben had gone along with her despite his resistance, claiming franchises were just a way for Hollywood to make money based on poor quality movies but he had to admit that time travel had its appeal. 

Ben had suggested Rey read Leo Tolstoy’s ' _Anna Karenina'_ but there was no way she was going to make time for a year or so to read such a long book when she had more than enough to read for school. Ben decided instead to make her read the first installment of ' _The Lord of the Rings'_ seeing as she loved the movies. Fair enough, she had concluded.

Rey usually ended up watching whatever movie that Ben had on when she came home late in the evenings. It progressively evolved into watching a movie and having pizza, Ben waiting for Rey. Ben was appalled that she considered pineapple a vital ingredient in pizza while Rey could not bear adding chewy, gooey mushrooms. They’d usually compromise by getting whatever type of pizza and having extra toppings of mushrooms and pineapples on each half to satisfy their culinary needs.

When Rey had found a small square table that was missing a leg by a garbage heap near their apartment one day, she had taken it home, knowing a new leg, a few bolts and screws and a new coat of paint would just do the trick before she put it in the empty space in the kitchen that screamed for it to be filled. 

Ben had been dumbstruck when she had lugged the table inside the apartment, looking at her with curiosity as he helped her carry it to their patio after putting some newspaper on the floor to make sure it wouldn’t get too dirty from the paint and sanding.

“We need a kitchen table, Ben,” Rey muttered before he got a chance to object. “We need a place to sit down, to receive guests. We can't just talk sitting on the floor no matter how cool you think it is. You're not young anymore and your back will thank you. Now, I think I can get some cheap chairs at the Salvation Army.”

“But if we needed a table, why didn’t you just say so? I could have just gotten a new one, with chairs. We don’t need to get old junk,” Ben had replied angrily, choosing not to comment on the state of his back.

“This isn’t ' _old junk_ ',” she objected. “It’s just missing a leg. I can easily fix it by getting a new one, sanding it down and giving it a nice paint job and _voila_ ! A new, refurbished table. What _would_ be a shame is if we’d thrown this baby away. I think I can borrow some tools from the school lab.” She eyed the table with a newfound admiration.

She received some side-eyes from the neighbors when she was sanding and lacquering down the table outside but she never heard anyone publicly voice their concerns. Rey could feel the disapproval in their eyes but they would usually retreat within their own apartments as soon as Ben came out to see how she was doing.

In the space of two weeks, Rey had a perfectly refurbished white table and Ben had managed to find second-hand chairs. “I could have easily bought new ones. God knows whose ass has sat on those chairs before us,” he muttered in disapproval. 

Ben had never really commented on the table, not that Rey expected him to as he was perfectly fine without one, but from that day, they had both begun to use it on a regular basis, each having their favorite chair, their favorite side.

But now, Rey was going to take the table and the chair with her. 

Finn didn’t have his own and Ben had repeated several times that he could do without it (even if she could see his rosy lips thin out and his eye twitch when he said those words and didn't believe him for one second but didn’t want to say anything to make things any more awkward than they already were).

Standing in the apartment, Rey looked down at the white table, sighing dejectedly, knowing this would bring their morning and midnight chats to an end.

She was going to miss them, more than she was willing to admit.

A tinge of regret and doubt clouded her mind.

It was normal to be nervous, _right_?

It wasn’t every day she moved in with her boyfriend. It was only natural to be nervous, uncertain and excited at the same time… _right_? 

She wished Rose were here but she had class, and seeing as how she had been so excited whenever she talked about moving in with Finn, how would her best friend react if, suddenly out of the blue, she started talking about having doubts about the whole thing…

She had met Finn Trooper in her second year at Coruscant University, one year after moving in with Ben. She and Rose, a fellow student in her program that became an instant best-friend after they were assigned to pair up for a project, had gone to a frat party that Poe had invited them to (he took his TA position quite seriously, trying to make sure all the students remembered to party during their free time.) At the frat house, a trio was playing a cello, a violin and a flute in the living room while the rest of the guests were cheering them on. Finn had been the one playing the cello and when Rey went to tell him that he played very well, there was an instant connection. They spent the rest of the evening talking and somehow, Rey found herself infatuated with the boy. 

As it turned out, Finn was also on a scholarship to the university, in the music program. They grew close and, despite the nagging feeling that _something_ was missing, Rey felt she was falling for him. She didn’t really have any experience with love or relationships but she really felt comfortable with Finn and they got along so well. It was as if they were meant to be together. Their relationship was great and despite Ben being a tad protective (“you tell me if he ever hurts you, alright?”) and imposing enough for Finn to be nervous whenever he came over, they had a blossoming relationship.

Things halted to a standstill when Finn told her, just before Christmas, that the Naboo University of Music and Arts had an opening in their music exchange program and he had received a spot in their orchestra for the winter semester, which would mean he'd be gone for six months. 

The food and lodging were included in the program so Rey could eventually be with him in Naboo, if she wanted to. Rey debated on the matter in December, uncertain of what to do. A part of her wanted to follow him, knowing six months apart was going to be hard. She wouldn’t be able to afford going to Naboo for a weekend, what with her schedule and lack of funds, and as much as she wanted to go and be with him, ditching her own scholarship for a six-month stay in another country seemed like a very foolish idea. Ben had listened to her through her self-debate, his eyes glued to hers as though swallowing every word. He frowned and did that thing with his lip where she was convinced he wanted to say more but didn’t.

“If you guys are as serious as you say you are, your relationship can withstand six months apart. You manage to stay together after that then you can survive anything else,” he had said evenly although Rey could hear how hard it was for him to say those words. Perhaps she had expected him to say something else? 

She didn’t see Finn for six months but through social media, Skype and what-not, their relationship remained as it was. They’d watch movies together, dinners. It wasn’t the same but it was enough for Rey. She did miss the physical part, but her hand was able to keep her needs at bay.

Ben had remained supportive, urging her to come with him during his morning runs. He even managed to take her to his weekly family dinners, wanting someone else to complain to when his parents were being overbearing and annoying. Han and Leia had taken her under their wings, taking a liking to her right away. Han and Rey eagerly talked planes and cars while Leia was more than willing to give her unused dresses and gowns that Rey didn’t really know when she would ever get the chance to use.

Things were getting cozy with Ben, domestic even. A little _too_ domestic. Rey found herself forgetting about Finn and actually looking forward to spending time with Ben. 

She’d even managed to sneak up on him on campus once when he was walking while reading a book. She knew had it been anyone else, he would have been furious but as she clapped the book shut, his anger and surprise had immediately turned into a warm smile, the one that made her chest flutter. No one else could have gotten the same response, she was convinced of that.

They barely spoke about Finn, choosing to talk about themselves. She told him of her past in the foster care system, about the numerous homes she had gone into until she stayed with Maz the last year of high school. She’d listen to him speak about his troubled relationship with his parents. How there'd been a time without them speaking to one another until they made up after Han had a heart attack.

Rey would have been lying if she didn’t realise that Ben made her feel something she didn’t feel with Finn. She hated comparing both of them. Finn was her _boyfriend_ while Ben was her _friend_. 

She cared for both of them. 

With Finn, Rey felt safe. 

With Ben, she felt like she had found someone that made her feel like she was home, She felt whole, like a certain emptiness had been filled.

Ben never really said anything about his own feelings. For an opinionated person, he rarely shared his feelings.

Maybe it was her imagination, maybe it was the fact that she missed Finn, but Rey thought at one point that she might have been happy being with Ben, as _more_ than just a roommate.

But as the six months passed, Finn was well intent on returning to Coruscant and back to Rey. He had impressed the orchestra in Naboo so much that after getting a scholarship to transfer there, Coruscant University had come with a counteroffer in order to keep Finn with their own school’s orchestra, giving him another scholarship and paying for his apartment. Finn had taken the deal right away, suggesting they move in together. Rey had been enthusiastic about the idea, believing that Ben perhaps wanted to regain his privacy and not be annoyed by a twenty-year-old around, so she agreed.

Ben, being Ben, didn't say much when she told him that she was moving out. He had looked at her and listened intently, his eyes glued to hers as he tilted his head down, watching her explain how it was the best thing for them . Knowing Ben well enough, he said he was okay with it and that he’d help with anything he could but she could see that he wasn’t. His eyes were twitching, lips almost trembling and his hand was carding through his hair constantly. She swore he was about to lift his hand, that he was going to grab her arm, her face, her chin, her, but he never did.

Swallowing the rejection, knowing that it was probably in her head, Rey got set on packing, Ben urging her to take everything that was hers and that he’d stay out of the way whenever possible.

And here she was packing her stuff. Finn, who had returned last week, had borrowed a small van from Snap Wexley and was coming tomorrow to get her things, that were now more than just two suitcases.

Rey looked at the table and sadly noted that it would probably get a bit of a story once it moved to Finn’s apartment.

She easily picked up the table and decided that it might be easier and more practical to turn it over with the table part down so she could put cardboard boxes on top and drag the entire thing down the stairs to the van.

Humming once again, Rey flipped the table over and frowned when she noticed a marking underneath. Placing it down, she knelt and saw that someone had used a sharpie to write a note. A note in some foreign language that Rey thought might have been French. It was neatly written and she knew only one person that had such nice penmanship.

_Je te laisserai des mots_

_En sous de ta porte_

_En sous de la lune qui chante_

_Tout près de la place où tes pieds passent_

_Caché dans les trous de temps d’hiver_

_Et quand tu es seule pendant un instant_

_Embrasse moi_

_Quand tu voudras_

Rey didn’t know any foreign languages so she did what she'd normally do, pulling out her phone and typing the words on the search bar of her browser.

It was a _song_.

In _French_.

There was a translation in English which she eagerly clicked.

_I’ll leave you words_

_Underneath your door_

_Underneath the singing moon_

_Near the place where your feet pass by_

_Hidden in the holes of wintertime_

_And when you’re alone for a moment_

_Kiss me_

_Whenever you want_

She fell on the floor as she read and reread the words. Opening her music app, she typed in the song and the artist. Within a minute, she listened to it.

_One_ time.

_Two_ times.

_Three_ Times.

Until she put it in repeat.

Her heart broke and tears fell down her cheek.

_Was this how he was going to tell her?_

_Was she ever meant to find out about this?_

_He was a fucking English professor! Why did he choose some random song instead of using his words?_

_Why didn’t he say anything!_

It hadn’t been in her head. It hadn’t been just her imagination. The way he glanced at her when she was burning the midnight oil during midterms or when she came home late at night after spending the entire day at school. The nights the coffee shop completely drained her and he'd have a cup of chamomile tea and the latest copy of her favorite magazine waiting for her because he knew when she usually got home and had a bad habit of leaving her mags on the couch.

The way he smiled at her whenever he tasted his tea in the morning because it was just the way he liked it. The time he had looked at her softly when she had fallen asleep on his shoulder after they'd watched some intellectual movie per Ben’s request, and he had pushed a loose hair behind her ear and managed to place a blanket over her, letting her wake up on her own at 4 a.m instead of waking her up.

It wasn’t just her imagination.

_Damn you, Ben Solo!_

The tears were replaced by anger, a fury that spread through her body.

How _dare_ he come up with some great overture now, now that she had made her decision and decided to try to make things work with Finn. _How dare he!_ _He had his chance. Why now? Two fucking years and she was trying to move on._

She stomped all the way to the campus, knowing where Ben held his English Classes. Making her way through the familiar hallways, Rey barged into his classroom, ignoring the surprised stares of dozens of bored students.

“ _Benjamin Chewbacca Organa Solo Skywalker!_ Did you write underneath my table?” she yelled angrily as she walked down the aisle and straight up to Ben. Hands on her hips, she stomped up to him.

Ben’s mouth thinned as his Adam’s apple bobbed and down.

“Miss Niima?” he asked, in his stern professor's voice.

“Don’t you go all fucking _'professor'_ on me, Ben. It won’t work,” she replied angrily. “Did _you_ write lyrics on my table?”

-0-0- -0-0- -0-0- -0-0- -0-0- -0-0- -0-0- -0-0- -0-0- -0-0-

He remembered the phone call.

It was one week after the beginning of the new school year, when his workload was at its busiest, what with getting to know his students and getting the curriculum out, sorting out the ones that were probably going to drop out, etc. He was in his office, feeling lucky to have one to himself instead of having to share with the rest of the faculty. 

Looking down at the screen, he let out a groan, recognizing the name so well. Glaring at his phone, Ben Solo reluctantly swiped on the green button and brought it to his ear. “What do you want, _Dameron_?” He asked sternly.

“Hey! How’s my favourite English professor?” Poe Dameron’s voice asked cheerfully over the line. 

Narrowing his eyes, Ben leaned back in the chair, exhaling. “ _What do you want_?”

“Hey! Can’t I just call my big brother and ask how he’s doing?” Poe asked innocently.

“You never call unless you want something, so spill already. I have work to do and so do you.” Ben reminded him pointedly.

“Alright, alright, since you’re being your grumpy self, I’m not going to make this hard for you,” Poe sighed. “I need a favour.”

“ _No_ ,” Ben answered bluntly before his _'brother'_ could say anything else. “I’m definitely not feeling generous towards you so whatever you’re asking, my answer is no.”

Ben heard Poe grumbling and growling on the line. He couldn’t help but smirk, taking delight in annoying the younger man. “Come on dude, help me out. Please? One of my kids is in trouble.”

“I will definitely not pay for any jail bond nor provide any false information that might help them out of a sticky situation," Ben replied pointedly.

“Can you hear me out at least?” Poe asked, slightly more annoyed than usual. “I heard you’re looking for a roommate after what’s his name, Molokov, Motoko, whatever, moved out.”

“Are you talking about Dopheld moving out?”

“Dopheld Mitaka, yes!” Poe said proudly, remembering his name. “Yeah, I heard from Phasma, who told Paige, that you were looking for a roommate.”

_Does anyone not know the word 'discretion'? Are the entire university staff a bunch of screeching teenagers?_ Ben thought, annoyed. “I only told this to Dopheld and have no idea why you, of all people, would have such information, but yes, it is true. I’m looking for a roommate but I haven’t made an ad yet.”

“Well, it's your lucky day, my dude. I found one!” Poe said excitedly. “One of my kids is in-”

” _-No_ !” Ben cut in right away. “I’m not looking to have some teenage _dudebro_ stinking up the whole place, leaving a mess and smoking up whenever he gets a chance. I definitely do not want to be a babysitter, thank you very much. I was actually hoping to rent out to another faculty member.”

"Come on listen up, okay.? Poe interrupted again. “Just keep an open mind. One of my kids needs help. She’s a good kid, straight-A student, has had a rough life and she’s worked her ass off to get a scholarship. She’s even gotten a job at one of the coffee shops on campus. Unfortunately, she missed out on student housing so she’s still living at home and her commute is ninety minutes. She’s looking for a cheap apartment or a room to rent near the school so she doesn’t have to go back and forth every day. We were talking the other day and it got me thinking about you.”

Groaning at the slight interest and the conflicting thoughts in his mind, his anti-social part not wanting to bat an eyelash at the girl’s problem, another part was piqued with interest. But above all, he didn’t want to think that Poe had convinced him to do anything, because that’s something that barely ever happened, no matter how long they'd known each other. 

Unfortunately, the silence had gone on for so long that Poe was probably aware that Ben was _not_ saying no. “Look, my dude, if you do this, I won’t ask you out for at least a year, okay?” 

"Don't toy with me Dameron,” Ben growled. “You've got the libido of a rabbit; you won't give up so easily."

Poe chuckled. “Yeah, you’re right. I probably won’t…” Ever since Poe had come out to Ben by kissing him at Christmas when he was 16 and Ben was 21, Poe had never really let go of his infatuation towards his _'older brother'_.

Their parents, long-time family friends, made it so that Ben and Poe grew up together and Ben was often referred to as Poe’s unofficial _'older brother'_ , while Poe was his 'little _brother'_. It was a role Ben hated, especially when he hit his teenage rebellious years but, nevertheless, it stuck.

After the awkward kiss, Ben found himself refusing Poe’s advances but encouraged his sexual orientation. He had been there when Poe had come out to the rest of his family and the world, standing proudly by his _'brother'_ (after assuring his parents that _just_ because he didn't bring any girls home or had girlfriends, did not meant that he was gay or in a secret relationship with Poe). 

Poe developed into a fine, young, self-assured proud man and he always managed to get on Ben’s nerves by not letting go of his crush on him, often trying to flirt with him, much to his annoyance. 

“Look, I didn’t make any promises to the kiddo but why don’t you give her a call? Or just talk to her?”

Another long silence passed before Ben closed his eyes and exhaled in defeat. “ _Fine_ ,” Ben muttered. “Give me her phone number.” 

Two days later, after several texts sent back and forth, Rey Niima showed up at his office and into his life, and Ben Solo fell hard. He saw past her nervousness, her hesitation and noticed what had to be the prettiest girl he had ever seen in his life. He listened intently as she spoke of her goals in life, about how motivated she was to work hard for her grades and wasn’t about to fuck it up with parties. He stared at those golden eyes with a hint of green in the middle, her cute little nose and those reddened lips, not to mention the freckles that were sprinkled over her tanned skin. 

Despite how unethical and inappropriate allowing a first year into his apartment would appear to his peers if they found out about the arrangement, Ben Solo let Rey rent the now empty bedroom, knowing that their busy schedules would probably mean they wouldn't spend much time together. He was convinced it was better that way. He’d probably be too busy with his own job and her with her school work to have time for chit chat. 

The arrangement worked, Poe, true to his word, leaving him alone more often than not and thanking him for helping out the student. 

He barely saw her in the beginning. They were in fact _,_ two passing ships. He was aware of her presence, the fruity smell spreading across the apartment whenever she took a shower, and despite keeping conversation to a minimum, he had to admit he took comfort in knowing he wasn’t alone in the apartment anymore. 

When they were both at home at the same time, Ben thought it best to lock himself in his room, keep himself busy with grading or reading.

At some point, they began to watch movies together after Rey complained about Ben’s nerdy movies that she’d sit and watch when she’d come home late in the evening. He’d tease her about wasting oxygen when she'd had a Marvel marathon with Rose, a friend she’d made at school. He repeated his dislike of franchises, always opting for original stories. Their small squabbles continued when they learned about each other's pizza preferences.

Just as he thought he had begun to know Rey, she surprised him again by bringing home a three-legged, battered table that probably should have ended its days in the dump, a toothy grin on her face as she talked about its potential, varnishing and tools. He would’ve gotten a table had she simply asked for one and he did offer, but she was deeply insulted. Seeing her in her element, Ben knew it was a waste of time trying to argue that he could simply get a set of table and chairs (he had to admit, it was better than sitting on the floor with tea and coffee in hand as they talked) and instead, helped with her project, offering to get some used chairs at the Salvation Army (and getting disinfecting products to make sure the chairs were as clean as possible). He heard the neighbours complain about Rey sanding down in the small veranda but he shot them down quickly with a harsh stare whenever he went out to check on her progress. No one was going to stop her. After a week or so, her project was done and Ben had been nothing but impressed. 

The table brought them closer together as they took the time to talk and have breakfast or dinner together whenever the opportunity arose. They would talk about mundane things like how Ben usually kept the wedge of lemon that he used in his tea laying on the kitchen counter instead of the trash (a habit he had gotten a long time ago) so he’d started to leave it on his plate instead, forgetting to place it in the dishwasher because he was often running late. He found out that Rey used all his Nespresso capsules within a month and used lots of sugar and milk going by the sugar granules laying on the counter next to the Nespresso machine. As they became aware of each other's preferences, Ben would sometimes wake up with a nice cup of tea waiting for him in the mornings or when he knew that Rey was in the shower, he’d prepare her a cup of coffee the way she liked it. 

Their bond continued to evolve until Ben realized that she was no longer her roommate but a… _friend_.

As they became more comfortable, they began to share more about themselves. Rey telling him of her upbringing in the foster system, how she managed to get a scholarship and how she loves fixing things. He told her about his problems with his family and about the dispute that made him stop talking to them for several years until they made up again. They even managed to talk about their loneliness when they were younger and how it shaped them to be wary of being with others. Rey didn’t have a lot of friends and neither did he. 

After their first year of living together, Ben knew something special was happening between them. He knew it had the potential of them possibly becoming more than friends or roommates but the fact that she was still so young, and that he was a teacher at school, made things slightly more difficult. But he could not deny how attracted he was to her. The way she smiled, the way she worked hard to get what she wanted, the way she never gave up. Heck, he really liked her whenever he managed to see her coming out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. That was a special treat.

But then he felt his hopes die when he heard a giggle and male laughter when he got home from his daily run one day. She had begun to date Finn Trooper, a musician in the music department or so she’d said. He looked perfectly normal, a little too normal for Ben’s liking. Feeling like his one good thing was dying as the dates and eventual sleep overs increased, Ben thought he had lost her for good. Being a gracious guy, he tried to remain cool and unaffected, even being a hardass on Finn whenever they had a second alone. He couldn’t say anything bad about Finn, the guy was okay - definitely didn’t deserve her at all - but he was acceptable.

He was probably the guy she needed at the time: young, conquering the world with his music, feeling positive about the future. Not some thirty-year-old who was only teaching because he didn’t have anything better to do and who’d rather spend his days reading a book then being surrounded by unimpressionable kids. He supported her by staying out of the way, concentrating on her well-being rather than whether she was happy with Finn.

In order to forget about his crush, because Maker knows it _was_ just a silly crush, Ben let Phasma fix him up on several dates but he soon found out they bored him. He received plenty of attention on campus, his female students often dressing provocatively whenever he had office hours but none were tall and slender with sun kissed skin dotted with freckles or brown hair in three knots. 

When Rey came to him crying one day in December, announcing that Finn was moving to Naboo for a semester, Ben felt even more conflicted.

Part of him was relieved that the pair might not have been that serious and perhaps they would grow apart and Rey would somehow be _'his'_ again but another part was devastated at seeing Rey so heartbroken over the situation. Her boyfriend was leaving her behind. How much did that suck? Not as much as Rey leaving their apartment to follow some boy, he thought in the middle of the night where his own thoughts did not do any harm to anyone. 

He did what he could to help her through the heartache. Taking a professor/professional/adult ( _whatever!_ \- he felt like he should say something, they were roommates!) approach, he told her that if they were as strong as they thought they were, their relationship would withstand the distance. That felt like a vague answer.

So, pushing his wishes and wants aside, secretly rejoicing that he could have her for himself, Ben took advice from some cheesy teen drama show he happened to stumble upon one night. 

" _Sometimes, a friend is better than a boyfriend."_

_Eugh_. That would be the only time he'd heed some teen advice.

When Finn left and Rey had been cooped up in her bedroom for several days (when she wasn’t working or studying), sappy songs on repeat and hearing a lot of sniffling whenever he thought of knocking on her door to see if she needed anything, Ben decided to keep Rey busy.

He decided to get her out of the house and take her over to his parents' for Sunday dinners (he couldn't stand letting her feed herself with _Spaghetti-Os_ ). That was indeed a colossal mistake. 

While his hope was to distract Rey with a change of scenery, some fresh air and getting out of the city, Ben had certainly not expected her to be completely taken in by the Organa-Solos. 

He should have expected as much seeing how they would talk to anyone that gave them their attention. The entire world was their friend, they just hadn't met everyone yet, they'd often say when he was younger.

His parents treated her like the daughter they always wanted but never had and despite Ben's insistence that she was just his roommate, that she had a boyfriend and that, well, he was just trying to help out, Rey soon became an honorary member of the family. She got along perfectly with Han, sharing their love of fixing things and cars while Leia showered the girl with gifts, giving away old dresses and gowns that once belonged to Grandma Padme, the ones that she had always said would go to a daughter or granddaughter. Rey had at first resisted, politely refusing, until she couldn't find any more excuses and returned home from the dinners with new dresses she would never need or find a reason to wear.

Despite Ben indirectly warning his parents to not get attached to Rey, Han and Leia certainly did. Ben knew a part of the warning was also for himself but Ben was too far gone by then.

And Leia noticed.

"Careful where your interests lie, son," she said one day after Rey had been to several family dinners. 

Ben, who had been busy stacking the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, stopped and turned to look at his mother with a frown. "What are you talking about?" he asked innocently, although his mom always saw straight through him.

Leaning against the wall with a frown, Leia crossed her arms, throwing him a knowing look. "I think you know what I'm talking about. You look at her like she's hung the moon. You're not fooling anyone."

"You're imagining things," he said gruffly, hoping she’d change subject. "She’s just my roommate. She has a boyfriend as I told you." 

Leia chuckled. "So? He's not here. There's no ring on her finger nor should she have one! At her age."

"I'm a professor… anything else would be… _inappropriate_ ," he said dismissively.

Leia scoffed. "Who are you talking to, kid? Your dad was _my_ professor, once upon a time." 

Closing the dishwasher loudly, Ben turned towards Leia. "Just stop it, ok? I don’t need your meddling," he threatened.

"I'm not meddling at all, Ben. By all means, you're entitled to do whatever you want but when you're smiling the way you are and the way she looks at you… it's easy for a mom to make a comment or two," she said softly before walking to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I haven't seen you this relaxed and happy in such a long time. Frankly, I like it."

Ben looked down guiltily, realizing his unrequited love wasn’t as discreet as he'd imagined. He wasn’t aware of how much happier his life had been after Rey moved into his apartment with two suitcases in hand. 

"Look, if you think we're spoiling her too much, we'll back off. I don’t think I can stop her going to the garage and working on the Falcon but we can stop with the rest," Leia suggested, seeing how troubled he looked.

"Nah, it's okay. She deserves it. Just don't stop when she's back with Finn. She needs all the support and for some reason, she likes you guys. " He shook his head. " _No idea why_."

"Stop with the _smartass_ ," Leia chuckled. "We'll be there, no worries. And you, just be careful. Okay?."

"I will."

"You might think you don’t deserve anything but you deserve everything in the world. You're allowed to be happy, Ben, and we'll be on your side," Leia added quietly. "Whatever you decide."

She cupped his cheek and Ben nodded, ignoring the lump in his throat. 

It was after that dinner that he knew he was gone for Rey Niima. He couldn't stop it if he wanted to. It was too late.

Her smile that simply made his heart swell a thousand times, her little body that made him feel things he really shouldn't be feeling. He never had a type when it came to women. He was not the kind to ogle girls with large chests, a bubble butt or duck lips. He appreciated the natural look and Rey, with her tiny firm body, a little ass that made him want to find out whether his hand would fit nicely around it and her chest... he really wanted to taste those rosy peaks, have them in his mouth…

At night, when the apartment was quiet, his mind wondered… _Would she be the quiet type or would she be loud and yell out his name? Would she praise and thank him for being so good when he’s licking her cunt or filling her up to the brink? Would she leave scratches on his back? Was her skin so delicate that she'd have bruises to hide the next day?_

Thank god he took a shower everyday or else he believed his pants would be tented every fucking day.

He tried to stop himself but he couldn't. It was like every time he told himself to back off, he did the opposite and tried to impress her, somehow, or just do anything to make her like him more. 

Just as Finn became less and less present in their discussions despite the fact that the six months were coming up and he was bound to return, Rey dropped a bombshell.

She was moving in with Finn once he returned from Naboo.

He barely remembered what she had said other than that she was moving in with Finn and she was excited. 

Being quick to hide his disapproval, quick to hide how his chest was beginning to constrict and he thought he was going to need oxygen, Ben managed conceal his shock and nodded his head, only wanting Rey to believe that he really was okay with this and that he was happy for her because really, he was.

She bought whatever came out of his mouth but Ben swore he could see slight uncertainty in her face, as though she was looking for something from him other than his approval. 

Could it have been _hope_? 

But Ben, who was pushing away a panic attack by then, wasn’t able to interpret that look there and then.

He was going to lose her for good. And he was going to be alone in his apartment, not hearing her voice or her laugh again, not having that fruity smell spread through the apartment anymore… 

Ben Solo was heartbroken.

Pretending to be alright, letting Rey take whatever she wanted, Ben returned to closing himself in his room again whenever they were both home. 

Rey never said a word.

Contemplating the end of their cohabitation, Ben spent most of his time wallowing in self pity, laying on his bed (excusing himself to Rey saying he needed to grade papers when she was beginning to pack her things), listening to a unrequited love playlist he'd found and mentally preparing himself to lose the one person he'd ever cared about. 

Hux tried to get him laid by setting him up with Bazine (who'd sleep with anyone) and Ben tried to go along with it, hoping a useless, emotionless lay would change his thoughts but as soon as she kissed him and shoved her tongue down his throat, he realized it was wrong. Completely wrong. 

The days neared until Rey's move and Ben was getting gloomier. Things were disappearing across the apartment and Ben was fearing the day she left for good. Finn had returned and their exchange was polite if not for the vague threat to punch him if Finn didn’t treat her well.

As he listened to his sappy songs, he came to a particular one that best described his emotions. He had it on loop and despite the song being short (and in French), Ben loved it. He buried his sorrows with alcohol and when his mind was clouded enough, he had the stupidest idea of writing it as a letter to her but thought it would be unfair to her to learn about his crush after two years. They had their chance. No. He'd just hope they could look back at this time as a good memory. It was for the best.

But what if…

What if she found out somehow? What if she stumbled upon the poem ten or twenty years from now and read it? And she looked back at it as a pleasant memory? He looked at the white table. The table that had solidified their friendship, the one that brought them together and took out a sharpie, writing the lyrics before he changed his mind or got too drunk.

He never expected her to find the poem so quickly.

And now she was standing in front of him, in front of his class, furious as hell.


	2. The Classroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey was a first year college student on a scholarship, looking for a place to stay near the university. Ben was a stuffy grumpy college professor who had a room to let in his apartment.  
> Then Poe Dameron the TA meddles and Ben and Rey become roommates.  
> They were meant to be two passing ships...  
> Until they weren't.
> 
> A short Reylo Roommate AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome fellow readers! Thank you for the comments/kudos! I'm happy you guys are liking this! The second and final chapter is now added! Expect some UST and more... stuff! ;)
> 
> This fic is entirely inspired by a Patrick Watson song, in french, that is called "Je te laisserai des mots" which in english means "I'll leave you a note". I have been listening to that song for a while now and it just oozes pining and unrequited love (for me at least) so there you have it! It inspired me to write a short two chapter reylo roommate AU. I seem to be having a thing for Professor Ben but (sigh) what can i say? I don't think anyone would mind having him as their teacher, bahahahah!!! This chapter will also switch POVS and there will be a slight time jump. 
> 
> A TRIGGER WARNING needs to be addressed: there might be some emotional cheating so if that impacts you, please read something else, there's so much to pick from! 
> 
> I've been dealing with a lot of crap these last weeks so my writing hasn't been up par... Being able to publish this has made me very proud! 
> 
> Thanks to my faithful aussie Beta [Cecilia1204](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecilia1204/pseuds/Cecilia1204) for looking after this fic! 
> 
> A link to the song, which i definitely recommend my readers to listen to: Spotify or [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chWW-sdnSDM). The artist has very good songs that have been used in several tv shows (grey's anatomy and the walking dead as far as I know). Oh, and I forgot to add that the artist mostly sings in english!

  
  
**Chapter Two  
**  
  
  
“ _Benjamin Chewbacca Organa Solo Skywalker_!” she yelled out at the top of her lungs, hands on hips, her entire body oozing anger and outrage.

His lips thinning, Ben glanced nervously at his students before facing Rey, clearing his throat. "Eh... Miss Niima…" he half-croaked, clinging on to his professional voice. 

"No! Don’t you _dare_ go all ' _Professor_ ' on me, Ben," she threatened, pointing a very angry finger at him. "It might work on _them_ ," she pointed at the students, “but don’t you dare try that with me!" 

"Shall we speak outside, then," he suggested pathetically, his voice trailing off.

"I don’t give a shit where we are, Ben, but what the fuck were you trying to get at with this?" she continued, angrily pulling out her phone from her back pocket and angrily tapping on the screen, finding the picture of the lyrics. 

Once she turned the phone so Ben would be able to look, he blanched when he saw the picture of the table turned upside down with the writing clearly visible. 

" _Oh_ ," he gulped.

"Oh? Is that the only thing you have to say for yourself? _Oh_?"

"Class is cancelled." He announced quickly. "Uh...Remember to do your revisions for the test." 

The class exited quietly, no one bothering to say anything but Rey felt their eyes on the two of them, knowing they were missing out on juicy drama. But Rey was on a rant and she couldn't care less who watched or not. 

"A love poem under my fucking table, Ben? Really? _Really?_ We've been living together for two years and you waited until the day I was _moving in with my boyfriend,_ my boyfriend who so happened to be absent for six months, to let me know that something could have happened between us? Fuck you, Ben Solo!"

The kids that were still in the classroom gasped and _oohed_ before they were ushered out by Ben's angry scowl, knowing that hardly anyone ever managed to shut down the grumpy Professor.

"I… I didn’t expect you to find out… this quickly," he stuttered pitifully, passing a nervous hand through his hair. 

Rey shook her head, the angry tears threatening to burst out. Why was he doing this now? Why now? Why not a few weeks or a year ago? “So, you expected me to find this out, when? After the engagement? The wedding? When my theoretical grandchild took the damn fucking table? For fuck’s sakes, Ben, you’re a fucking professor! Why couldn’t you use that goddamn rosy, pouty mouth of yours instead of making me do this!” She was angry. She was furious. No, she was so completely overwhelmed with confusing emotions that she didn’t know whether she should punch Ben Solo in the face or stick her tongue down his throat and run a hand through his hair, if not rest it on that chest or lower down his pants, if only to see if his junk was as big as she suspected it to be. 

But she couldn’t think about that… 

Finn was her boyfriend, _her boyfriend,_ and they were on a great path. They were just as happy as they had been before he had left for Naboo and Rey felt it was the best thing to move in with him…even if the spark was missing. 

But, no, she wouldn’t admit that to anyone… except maybe Ben.

Ben was leaning against his desk, his hands gripping the side tightly. His chest was heaving heavily as he looked at the floor. “Any type of pursuit on my part would be considered inappropriate," he replied pathetically and Rey simply sighed, unimpressed, knowing it was just like him to hide behind rules. 

“And you don’t think writing some fucking love poem under my table would be considered non-stalkerish?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. “And Ben, you’re not my professor, you’ve _never_ been my professor nor will you _ever_ be my professor. We are two consenting adults and whatever people say would be just fucking gossip.”

“You’re just starting out Rey. You’re twenty, you have your entire future ahead of you. I’m over 30. I’m old and stuffy and some say I’m grumpy. Finn is bet-...” he said with regret.

“You _do not_ get to tell me whether Finn is better for me or not! That is not your choice. For fuck's sake, Leia warned me you were going to pull this type of crap,” she sighed, pinching her nose.

“Wait, you talked to my mom about me?” 

“It just came out. She warned me you’d probably flagellate yourself rather than admit that you want something that could possibly make you happy. Ben…” He’d rather suffer silently than to make an attempt at being happy. Leia had warned her so well.

“Well, none of it matters. You’re still moving away, with your boyfriend _,_ so even if it's a fucking note, you don’t have to do anything with it,” he muttered angrily.

“You’re impossible, Ben Solo! Why, _why,_ go to that length? Why not say anything? You had me all to yourself for the longest of times!” she cried, her voice breaking. 

“I was… I’m scared Rey. I mean… you were just meant to be my roommate. Some young, innocent kid trying to figure out her place in the world, trying to become a productive person in society, following her dreams. I…I couldn’t stand in your way, tie you down to a guy who has so much baggage you’d probably run away screaming,” he sighed, looking away. 

“Don’t ever assume anything about me, Ben! You could have avoided all of this by taking a fucking chance.” Her voice shook and the tears fell. "You could have asked me! You could have let me know of the tiniest of interest. I…I might not have said no....”

Ben lifted his head and locked eyes with Rey. His gaze was so intense, so dark, she felt he was going to swallow her whole. He lifted his hand and took a step closer, wetting his lips as he took her in. Feeling him so close, she tilted her head back to meet his gaze. She could count his moles, his long lashes in detail. The tip of his nose nearly touched her own and his breath, his minty coffee breath was making her feel things. Rey Niima felt a heat in her belly spreading to her legs; she thought she felt slick run down her thighs and that’s when she knew… The spark she did not have with Finn - the fire, the desire in her gut making her so wet - it was happening, with her roommate, Ben Solo.

She stood still, locked into his dark gaze. She felt his arm move up her forearm, slowly moving upwards until his giant fingers were gently holding one side of her neck. His lips parted as he looked down at her own dry ones, the ones that were beginning to pout, preparing for the inevitable. Her own chest was heaving, wondering if the air had disappeared but she dared not move. She knew she should but she did not want to. 

The want, the desire, felt so good. She was so wet and the tension, the spark that made her cunt clench in want, was so strong she didn't want it to end.

“I would never have left you, not even for a day,” he said, his voice so dark and so smooth it made Rey’s ears buzz. Cupping her cheek, Ben looked softly down at her. “I’d never leave your side in bed if I could. I’d make you cum every fucking morning just to make sure you had a nice start in your day. I’d make you dinner every night and eat you out just so you’d sleep well. _Rey_ …” He placed his forefinger over her lip, brushing it so lightly Rey let out a slight whimper, never having felt as horny. “Rey, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. You have to understand that I didn’t want to fuck it up and lose you…”

Before she could regret it, before she could think clearly, before she could actually put on her big girl pants and think like a proper adult, Rey leaned forward and kissed Ben, finally able to feel those rosy, pouty lips on hers. At first, he stayed frozen, probably in shock, but as though he had suddenly woken, his lips began to move against hers and he wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and crushed her against him. He pressed his tongue against her lips and she opened willingly, their tongues suddenly dancing against one another. Her breaths turned into low whimpers and groans. She gripped his shirt and pulled it to her, wanting to be as close as possible. Pressing into him, she couldn’t care less if her tits were digging into him nor did she mind feeling his hardness against her belly. Rey had never felt her body so alert and so sensitive that every kiss on her mouth, on her neck, on her shoulder left her aching for more. He cupped her ass, squeezing it tightly until he lifted one of her legs and wrapped it around his own. The room was eerily quiet except for the sound of their mouths exploring one another, the moans and groans as one did something that the other loved. Losing all sense of control, Rey fervently held on to Ben, kissing anything that she could reach as she pressed herself against him, relieving some of the pressure that she felt but knowing that it was not enough and that she could eagerly fuck him right there and then in the classroom. 

“You’re everything I could have ever wanted, Rey,” he whispered in her ear before dropping kisses down her neck and suckling on her skin as he pressed himself against her. “ _Everything_.”

She smiled. It was everything she'd been waiting to happen. All those nights when she fell asleep on his shoulder, the drunken nights when she’d come home and he’d carry her to bed, wanting him to stay but never drunk enough to say it aloud. Grabbing his hair, tugging on it gently, Rey licked his neck, tasting the saltiness and his perfume before she bit down eagerly just as he had done and she felt his body tremble. They clumsily walked to the nearest wall, Ben grinding his hips into her and soon their clothed bodies were seeking relief.

“We have to stop,” he suddenly blurted out as he leaned back, the tip of his nose pressing into hers. His breath warm on her face, he looked at her with darkened eyes. “I want you, Rey, but I can’t possibly fuck you in this room.”

Gathering her senses, Rey nodded her head before uttering the name that should have been on her mind. “ _Finn_.” 

Ben’s swollen lips thinned as a shadow fell across his face. “You should go…”

“Ben… I…" She held his face and bit her lip, wanting to say, do, anything that would make this better, more right. But as her brain began to function, she was nothing but confused.

“Just go, Rey,” he whispered, taking a step back and pushing her hands away. His shirt was half-way out and his hair was all over the place. He made no attempt to straighten his clothes. He looked at her with those puppy eyes and Rey felt her heart break, wondering if he thought that this was the last time he was going to see her, let alone feel, her. Rubbing his chin, Ben was looking bewildered. “I hope you’ll be happy, Rey. I really do.” 

He expected her to leave but she simply stood there, uncertain of what to do or what to say. 

Their eyes were still locked on one another, their lungs still searching for air. 

Ben shook his head and let out a groan before he took a giant step and walked out of the classroom.

-0-0-0-0--0-0-0-0--0-0-0-0--0-0-0-0--0-0-0-0-

All of Rey’s things were gone by the time Ben had returned to their apartment later that night. The key was in the little bowl by the entrance and the table, the white table that Rey had fixed on her own a year ago, was still in its original place in the kitchen, showing no sign of it ever being moved in the first place

Drunk as a skunk, Ben sat down on the chair and cried his heart out, lamenting the loss of the girl he had fallen in love with, the loss of his best friend and possibly his soulmate. He felt utterly alone and forlorn and for the longest time, he did not know how he was going to live without her presence in his life. This must be what a heartbreak felt like, he mused after several days had gone by and he was still a big, fat mess lying in his bed all day. 

She hadn’t shown him any sign of life since that day in the classroom and he couldn’t bring himself to send a message or press the green button to call her. Ben simply didn’t want to know, didn’t want to get hurt, if he heard her laughing at something funny Finn had said or done. Of course he was happy that she was happy but the hurt, the heartbreak that it wasn’t him that was the cause of her happiness, was simply too much to handle. 

After a month passed and he was into his summer vacation, not doing anything, Ben was slowly beginning to snap out of his despair. Not knowing what to do with himself, he went to the family’s summer home in Naboo, enjoying their secluded house by the water. His parents joined him, as did Poe, who knew something was up when he stopped getting any kind of communication. 

He didn’t want to talk about what had happened with Rey but Poe’s bottomless supply of pot made him loosen his tongue. Somehow, Leia had managed to appear after they had finished their joint and Ben, being friendlier than usual, talked about what had happened (omitting the events in the classroom). They both listened, Leia looking at him, not saying much but holding his hand and cupping his cheek as she had done so many months ago when she first warned him. 

“She’s a smart girl, she’ll come around,” she said softly.

Poe clapped him on the back. “I never expected for you to fall for a first year, Solo. You surprise me. Had I known she'd give you trouble…” He stopped when Ben sent him a scowl. “Okay, okay, I’ll back off. Look, dude, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. You're a popular guy on campus.”

Leia raised an eyebrow and ruffled his son’s hair. “How could he not be? He’s dark, grumpy, doesn’t give a shit about what anyone else thinks. A true Skywalker. Your grandfather was quite a headturner back in his day,” she said warmly.

Ben rolled his eyes before waving his mom’s hand away. “Oh, come on, Mother, stop it. I’m not a fucking heartthrob and you, Dameron, don’t, don’t you send any more kids my way. I’m done helping,” he warned. He didn’t want another college kid as a roommate. He didn’t want anyone else. Just her.

Poe took the hint and backed off. 

By the end of the summer and without any form of communication from her, Ben decided that life had to go on. Even if he had managed to meet the woman he wanted in his life, the only woman he would ever want, he couldn’t continue to wallow in his own misery. He needed to move on. He didn’t really have a choice. Finn and Rey were still students and he would eventually run into them. Wouldn’t it be grand of him to be the responsible former professor/roommate, to be cool and collected when meeting Rey again, instead of being some pathetic fool still clinging on to her memory? 

September came and announced the start of a new school term. Ben was keeping busy making his usual preparations. He had a more difficult job with his third-year students, the ones that had witnessed his unfortunate conversation with Rey. Although they appeared polite, he could hear a few snickers and giggles when they thought he wasn’t listening, only to crawl in fear when he turned around and yelled at them to pay attention. 

“You’ll always be a stuffy, grumpy professor, you know that? I don’t think that can ever change, even if you wanted to,” came a familiar voice on a Friday afternoon a week into the new semester.

Busy shuffling papers on his desk, Ben's head bolted up and turned towards the door where Rey stood, looking just as nervous as when they had met the first time in his office. Several months had passed and her hair was now longer, the soft curls caressing her face. Throat drying, his heart racing uncontrollably in his chest, Ben blinked several times, wanting to make sure she was really there.

One hand holding her backpack on her back, Rey smiled nervously, biting her bottom lip. “Hey,” she said softly.

“Er, hi,” he replied, not knowing what to say. 

“Can I come in?” 

He nodded his head and continued to stack his papers together before shoving them in his folder pocket. Once the desk was cleared, he put his shoulder bag next to him. Rey stood inside the classroom, fumbling her fingers together, her feet tapping nervously. 

“I just wanted to check up on you. See how you were doing,” she began, voice uncertain.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” he replied with a hint of anger as he turned to face her, resting on the desk. “I’ve been here all along.”

Nodding, Rey cleared her throat and smiled guiltily. “I know you have.”

“I trust the move went alright and you’ve found yourself a better apartment,” he commented coldly.

“Ben… shit. I’m not… I’m here to…this is coming out all weird. Ben… I just want to start by apologizing for the radio silence. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have spoken to you.” Her smile disappeared, her cool facade breaking down as a miserable frown took over her face. 

“You didn’t owe me anything, Rey,” Ben sighed, crossing his arms across his chest. “What I did was inappropriate and you were just renting a room. I took advantage of that and I’m sorry that I crossed the line, on your moving day.” There he said it and what a pathetic fuck he was for throwing out an olive branch. He really should just let her go and forget about her. No good could ever come of this, yet there he was, still wanting to be present in her life.

Rey nodded her head hesitantly. She bit her lip and walked towards him. “You’re not solely to blame in all of this, you know. I was just as guilty and well,” she scrunched her nose, “I was pretty good at denying what was happening between us and, well, things with Finn were very different. It was confusing.”

“Confusing would be a good word.” A moment of silence elapsed but for the buzzing sounds of students outside the classroom.

“Look, I’m not asking for forgiveness and if you don’t ever want to talk to me again, I will totally understand and I can pretend I never knew you if that makes you feel better or something-” 

“I don’t want that Rey,” he interrupted her and she let out a squeak and clamped her mouth shut. “How could I possibly forget you! You’ve been haunting my mind since what happened the last time we were in this room. I can’t help thinking about what you’re doing with the cello player, wondering if you’re happy, if he’s giving you his pineapple or if he likes something weird as fuck, like anchovies or something. I wonder what he thinks about your Netflix account?”

She stomped her foot and closed her eyes shut for a moment. “Ben, I never moved in with him,” she told him loudly.

His heart skipped a beat. “ _What_?” he asked in his dark voice.

“I never moved in with him,” she repeated, daring to smile for the first time. “I…your parents… they let me use their apartment in Chandrila. I…” She sniffled, lowering her head guiltily.

_‘She’ll come around'._ Damn it, mother! It was _so_ like his mom to get involved and meddle! No wonder his parents told him the apartment in Chandrila was being renovated and he shouldn’t go there under any circumstances.

“I had no idea what to do when I left the classroom but moving in with Finn felt like the last thing I should be doing. I broke up with him that day.” She shook her head. “It was a mistake, he and I. I was just forcing myself into something comfortable. I should have realised it earlier, but I was too weak, too insecure. Me, a fucking first-year, crushing over a much older, professor who makes his students cry? I felt like I didn’t stand a chance. Being with Finn was nice, but you? You seemed unattainable. After what happened with us, after I broke up with him, I felt so guilty for putting two people that I care about through a shit load of drama just because I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that I was falling hard for my much-older roommate. I felt so fucking selfish and I couldn’t possibly just run back to you. I thought I had fucked things up permanently…” She sniffed. “I… missed you _terribly_ and I couldn’t stand not talking to you. Your mom listened and let me use their apartment in Chandrila for the summer. I got a job away from the campus. I tried to figure things out.”

“Fuck, writing under your table is the worst thing I could have done,” he muttered under his breath, wondering if all this drama was ever going to be finished. 

“Is it though?” she asked softly, her eyes glinting at him. “Is it the worst thing that could have happened?” Tilting her head, she took a decisive step closer to him. “At least the truth finally came out.”

He rolled his eyes. “And then look what happened,” he sighed sadly. She was so close that he could smell her fruity scent and Ben had to fight the urge to once again crush her to his chest. “What are you doing here, Rey? Really?” he asked huskily as their eyes locked and the room suddenly faded away, the sounds, the colours, the light. 

It was just the two of them again. 

Just her. 

Just him. 

He hoped she wasn’t here to tease or hurt him again but the fire in her honey-brown eyes gave him hope that it might be more than that. Her lips were parted and her eyes flickered between his mouth and his eyes

“I’m…here… I’m here because…” she began, her voice breaking. “I’m _listening_ to you…”

“What?” 

“The lyrics of the song ' _Kiss me when you want_ '.” she replied, her lower lip trembling as she tilted her head back to look at him, entwining her hands with his. “That’s what I want to do. Kiss you. If you let me.”

Before she could say anything more, Ben leaned forward and gently cupped her face, pulling her close until their lips met. The moment was not like the first kiss they had shared. There wasn’t any surprise, fear or nervousness. 

This kiss felt like coming home. 

This felt so right. Savoring her sweet lips, Ben pulled her closer, remembering how her body fit so perfectly against his own. 

Rey responded quickly by cupping the back of his head and gently tugging on his dark hair, making Ben moan. She traced over his lips with her tongue before he opened them, letting her in. Their tongues danced together as their hands roamed freely, trying to feel the other through layers of clothes. Not wanting to repeat what happened in the classroom the first time, Ben broke the kiss and pulled slightly back, smiling. Rey smiled back nervously.

“Is my room still available?” She said boldly. “Your mom hasn’t said anything but she’s been implying that she wants the apartment back so she can run away from your Dad,” she chuckled, passing a hand through her hair. 

“My days helping out first year kids are over and seeing as I have a habit of writing weird notes on furniture, I’m doomed to turn that room into an office,” he smiled coyly.

She shook her head. “It’s sort of a shame. I rather like weird notes, especially if they’re written by stuffy, grumpy professors that have the sweetest heart.”

“You’re still welcome to stay, with me, that is, in _my_ bed,” he suggested, his eyes shining.

“I’d like that,” she answered, pressing her lips to his. 

“Next time, I’ll leave a note under the door or something.” 

“Or just talk to me. We can always _talk_ ,” she suggested.

“Talking is good," he heartily agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THank you for taking the time to read this! IT has been a great pleasure to write this! In a sense, this could easily have been a MC in order to develop the relationship and the backgrounds, especially Ben's. I had this thought that he might have been dealing with depression when he was younger or taht he had done something unforgivable (i wouldn't know what though) and now that he's okay, he still felt so guilt-ridden he would just sabotage anything that would make him happy thus, making him weary of pursuing Rey. But, alas, this is the final result! I'm very proud since this fic practically wrote itself! It was so easy to find domestic things that would happen between the two! 
> 
> To any of my readers that are following my JaneTheVirgin reylo AU, forgive me for not updating! Summer, vacation and health issues are really slowing things down. I'm doing my very best! 
> 
> I do appreciate every kudos + comments, feel free to check me up on Twitter: [CocoLoco4u](https://twitter.com/CocoLoco4u).
> 
> Thank you all again! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I will put up the second chapter pretty soon, it's done and betaed, just need to stick it on Ao3. 
> 
> To any of my readers that are following my JaneTheVirgin reylo AU, forgive me for not updating! Summer, vacation and health issues are really slowing things down. I'm doing my very best! 
> 
> I do appreciate every kudos + comments, feel free to check me up on Twitter: [CocoLoco4u](https://twitter.com/CocoLoco4u).


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